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I can't feel the baby - Part 4

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Friday 20th September 2024 Throughout my entire pregnancy I'd probably been into the maternity triage unit around 10 times, every time I felt silly as I'd always get hooked up to the CTG machine and my baby would end up kicking and rolling around for fun, the midwives always laughed and told me not to feel silly as they would rather see a mother with a baby with a heartbeat and lots of movements then the sad alternative which happens way more then I'd dared to think about.  12am I'd not been sleeping very well, it was hard to get comfortable with a bump so big, I rotated from side to side but was just so very uncomfortable and in pain with a sore back. I'd often just lie there and place my hand on my bump and would usually get a kick back from baby but this time nothing, I tried drinking cold water, jumping up and down and even listened to some music through my air pods so I didn't wake my husband up but nothing seemed to work. I tried to get some more sleep but...
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Small baby clothes - Part 3

Thursday 19th September 2024. Today started quite early, in my infinite wisdom I'd forgotten to cancel a dentist appointment for a filling, with everything going on it was the last thing I really thought about, I phoned up the dentist and was told if I didn't attend there would be a fee to pay so like any sane person I went. Whilst I was hobbling to my appointment I had a phone call from the specialist doctor we had met yesterday who did the detailed scan and amniocentesis, she told me that during the MDT (multidisciplinary team meeting) it was decided that although there was clearly something wrong it was not urgent enough to require an emergency c section and that I would be booked in for an elective c section after the weekend, I agreed this was a good idea and then was thrown into the absolute panic of oh my god, I'm having a baby in 4 days time and I have nothing ready. I walked into my dentist appointment and the dental surgeon could clearly tell something was wrong, ...
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I'm sorry, somethings wrong - Part 2

Wednesday 18th September 2024 After an awful nights sleep I was sent downstairs to the scan department, it was very early so thankfully there weren't many people around, I was already very upset and the thought of sitting in a room full of happy expectant parents filled me with dread.  I remember the look on the ladies face that scanned me, when she turned off the screen I knew there was something wrong, this was followed by those awful words "I'm sorry, there is something wrong with the baby". I sat there in complete silence waiting for her to complete the scan trying not to cry as I wasn't sure what was going on, she called in another lady to look at the same screen and after what felt like an hour but was only 5 minutes they told me that my baby had lots of fluid around her abdomen and I had a lot of extra amniotic fluid, they couldn't see her bladder so couldn't confirm where the fluid was coming from. I was told I was going to to be sent to another ho...
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The calm before the storm - Part 1

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As many of you know we gave birth to our little girl last September, this blog is my way of telling my story in a cathartic way. Tuesday September 17th 2024 This day started the same as any other day, still battling through extreme morning sickness I went to work not knowing it would be my last day there! Throughout the day I remember being sat thinking I couldn't remember when I last felt my baby move which I was used to having an anterior placenta something just felt different this time. When I got home from work I phoned triage who told me to come in right away. I nervously drove to the hospital where I'd been so so many times recently, I'd often joke it was like my second home I was placed on a CTG machine for what felt like forever and the lack of movements were causing the machine to not meet the criteria so the midwives wouldn't let me come home.  Given that I'd driven myself here, of course I had no phone charger, no clothes other then what I was wearing and...
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